michelle weidenbenner author addiction recovery moms al anon

Moms of Addicted Loved Ones are Everyday Warriors

Author, Michelle Weidenbenner

Moms are heroes for their addicted child

Moms of addicted loved ones are hero warriors because they have to fight every day.

They fight to find and save the child they once coddled to their bosom.

A child with a substance use disorder becomes lost and trapped inside an imposter, a dark being that sucks common sense, logic, and rational decisions out of a beloved child. The demon hijacks the brain.

When a Mom looks into her child’s eyes, she can no longer see the man or woman she raised, the one who kissed her goodnight, the one who held her hand and knew right from wrong.

She sees a possessed demon who lives for only one thing: his drug of choice.

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Moms are confused about when to let their addicted child hit rock-bottom

Friends look at her differently. They think she’s part of the problem. They say, don’t enable him. You need to let him hit rock bottom.

But rock bottom sounds like death, and she refuses to believe that is a place her child wants to go.

Moms are plagued with questions that no one can answer about their child's addiction

What should she do?

Deep inside the imposter is her loving child. If she lets him go and prays for him to fend for himself, is he strong enough to resurface?

Isn’t she supposed to love her child unconditionally? But how? How can she love the child and not the imposter?

She loathes the imposter. If she loves her child, she encourages the imposter. Giving him money and a roof over his head only supports the beast. How can she separate the two?

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Moms are consumed with guilt around their child's addiction

This must be her fault. If she was a good Mom, she’d find a way to help him. This never should have happened.

A mother's hopes and dreams for her addicted child's future dwindle

Nothing helps. Her child becomes more and more unrecognizable.

She grieves. Nobody knows how to stop the imposter. The health care system fails to see her child’s needs as a disease. Society wants him in jail.

She has lost sleep, finances, her health and her friends.

All she can do is wait in agony for the phone to ring to inform her that her child is gone forever.

And when she gets the call, if she’s lucky, she’ll find a letter like one of these.

Love letters Moms hope for from their addicted child


Dear Mom,

I wish I would have gotten help sooner. I’m sorry. It wasn’t your fault. There was nothing you could have done differently. I was too stubborn to get help sooner.

I love you. Please know that I’m in a better place. This isn’t goodbye. I’ll see you later in a place where there is no such thing as addiction.

Love, Ryan


Dear Daddy,

I know you tried your best.

When I finally met you at 13, I was already damaged, broken. It wasn't your fault. 

Alcohol, pain pills, Xanax, cocaine .... these were the things I chose to help me check out of the pain. These were the things that helped me pretend that I was somehow normal, adequate, beautiful, and worthy of a good life. 

I struggled openly and you saw it. You never knew what to do, but you told me I was good and that you were proud of me. Your words were better than drugs. They made me soar, even if it was only for a minute. 

Please don't beat yourself up. Don't think about the "what ifs" or what you could have or should have done differently. I knew that I was deeply loved by at least one person in my life and that is something no one can take away from me or from you. 

I think when everything is said and done, the only thing that counts is love...and that's all that is remembered. Thank you for chasing me. I'll see you again. Until then, think about the happy times and know that I'm not suffering anymore.

With all my love, Your Angel


Dear Mom,

My addiction wasn’t your fault. I didn’t turn out this way because of you. I never stopped loving you. I wanted to be a “good girl” in your eyes.

Love, Dreanna


*These letters were written by recovering addicts after they were asked, “If I had died while in active addiction, what would I want my mom to know?”

There is hope for mothers of addicted loved ones 

Hope Builders, LLC was created to bring education, support and hope to moms of addicted loved ones.

Moms who want to let go of the addiction chaos with love, and without giving up, are invited to join our private FB group (MomsLettingGo).

Moms heal in our community because they are surrounded by other moms who understand, encourage, and bring hope.

Together we are Mighty Moms determined to heal, so we can be a part of a movement to stop the addiction stigma and find affordable recovery solutions for every person.

Get your free gift for mothers of addicted loved ones

Download free guide: Moms Letting Go Without Giving Up, Seven Steps to Self-Recovery by Michelle Weidenbenner.


What you don't know about Jim Crow

by Sally Hendrick

Two little girls in rural West Tennessee are best friends but only in secret. Separated by a cotton field, their lives couldn't be any more different. Sudie's and Mabie's friendship, beautiful yet tragic, leaves a mark for generations to come.

Sally takes you on a journey back in time to the early 1900's Jim Crow South, as she imagines what life was like for her grandmother, Sudie, weaving together memories from her own childhood and stories from her family, even the black women who raised her.

Coming someday soon. Please enjoy this chapter for now.

Read a chapter for free