(00:01):
One of my purposes is definitely to see more women in the boardroom. I think it is a huge loss to leadership that there aren't more women at the table making the big decisions. I want to see more women make more money so that we can have more power around what we want to buy, what kind of government we want, how we influence the bottom line. I think that's why more and more women are becoming entrepreneurs because you get to a point in corporate where this is as high as you're going to go in this company at least, and I've seen a lot of women leave because of that. So I would say my purpose is how can I uplift and empower as many women as I possibly can so they can go on to make a ripple effect in their community?
(01:05):
Welcome to Shout Your Cause with Sally Hendrick, a digital magazine where you can get found, get heard, and get inspired with content that challenges us to be globally minded. Our focus is on raising awareness around social justice issues, cultural differences, and to bring you the people dedicating their lives to tackling challenging topics as their way of giving back. Let us be your advocate to make your voices heard around the world.
(01:35):
Hey everybody. Welcome back to Shout Your Cause. I've got Marilyn Dollar here with me, the Woman's Coach. Is that what you go by these days still?
(01:44):
That is what I go by these days.
(01:46):
Excellent. Marilyn and I go back a few years to, oh, somehow meeting at the business boutique or we connected there for some reason and you came over to my place for a party that I had and that's where things started.
(02:07):
Yeah, you have some cool friends, Sally, for sure.
(02:10):
Well, thank you. We have a good time. We try to have a good time here. So I've always admired you and I love your emails that I get, and you talk about being a woman's coach and instead of being a woman's coach, I want to know why do you think that women make great coaches?
(02:33):
What a great question. So I've got a lot of training, right? So I graduated Dez's Radiant I C F training school in Nashville. I graduated from certified high performance coaching through Brendan Burchard every year for the last four years. And I'm almost finished with the Life Coach school and last year I got a certification in the Woman's Brain, which is fascinating and highly recommend you take Dr. Sarah McKay's class. Sally, you would love it. It's all about the neuroscience and how a woman's brain is different scientifically from a man's, how our hormones influence how our telomeres work. I mean, it is fascinating stuff that I know you would love. And I say all that because my husband has also gotten some training, but we are very different when it comes to coaching because we're different humans obviously, but also as a man, he always wants to solve my problem.
(03:45):
He just is like, oh, well you could do this and you could do that. And I'm like, dude, I know what I could do. I don't need you to tell me what I can do. I can do it, but as a woman, I'm ready to just listen. I could just hold the space for you. I don't need to solve it for you because I believe in your worth. I believe in your brain power. I believe you've got all the answers already inside you. I could give you my answer, but that would be my answer. So I think women we're naturally built to hold space better. I think that's why we have the body to carry a baby. We're just innately made that way.
(04:24):
Neat. That's a neat way of putting it. I never thought about that. So then thinking about the women that you actually do coach, what kind of traits do you see in them?
(04:39):
Oh, great question. I'll tell you who I don't coach. I don't coach narcissistic women who think they have it all figured out and they're already doing what they want to do the way they want to do it. And they don't want any feedback. I don't coach them. I don't coach women who are victims who say, well, I tried, but this other person, nope, not coaching that. And I don't coach women who won't do the work. So when I coach, you have to do the work. There's work involved, there's homework, there's thought work. It can be mentally exhausting if this is your first toe dip into the pool of self-development. It's a mindset shift for sure. I know we hear a lot about that, but one of the coaching modalities I used from the life coach school is called C T F A R. So C is your circumstance and you'll see that have that on my board back here.
(05:48):
I'm just coaching someone and a circumstance is these are the facts. Everybody would agree with this. There's no emotion to it. These are the facts. And then we have our thoughts about the facts and then we have our feelings about our thoughts, and then our actions come from how we feel, which is a vibration in our body. And that's either an action or an inaction. So let's say you've been stuck, it's because of the way you feel, because of the thoughts you're having, and then you get your results. And many times when I'm coaching women, they think their results are the facts, but their results are actually being created by them through their thoughts and their feelings. So when we start working on their thoughts, it starts to change their feelings starts to make them take action and they start to get different results. Those are the kind of women I like to coach.
(06:46):
It sounds like you're taking this rope or this chain that's been tied up in all these different knots and you're untying. It just this one little piece that you're trying to get. It's the only thing that'll budge and you're trying to get it to move. And then once you do that, then it's like everything else starts to unravel in you. All of a sudden you have a way forward.
(07:10):
It's funny that you would mention it that way. I used to do that for my mom all the time. She would say, here, untangle all this jewelry. This will keep you busy for 15 minutes. And I would do that. And so I have been doing that for a long time. And so it is kind of like that. We kind of untangle it. We decide what we want to keep, what we want to donate, and then where do we have some gaps? Where do we want to upskill or where do we want to go buy something new? Where do we want to try something new? And that could be mostly it's corporate women, women who have their own business and have a staff of people and they want to scale the next level. But many times what I see is what got them here is not going to get them to the next level. They're missing a piece, either a mindset piece or an upskilling piece or maybe a person on their team. And that is a lot of times what we coach on.
(08:11):
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(08:40):
I would say that I'm probably not in your realm of who you would coach necessarily because I don't know if I want, I don't know which way I want to go next, and I don't know if I want to have anything bigger than what I have.
(09:02):
So I'll tell you this about that. I have a few individual clients and one of them is she's decided to become single. And one of the things that she's always done is paint, but she's never monetized it. And we started working together and she's like, oh, I'm kind of unhappy in this relationship. I don't know exactly what to do next. I've never really worked. I don't know that I want to work. I want to do something that fills me up again. I feel empty. My son went to college, now he's graduated and he's moved back in with me and I don't really like that, so I need to get him launched. What could we work on? I said, I don't know. What could we work on? And so we talked that through and we just finished 90 days together. And in 90 days, Sally, this client has filed for a divorce, has found a divorce coach who will help her with her financial situation. She's helped her son find him a new place either in Nashville or in Boston. She has gathered up her paintings and she's going to do a show and she's doing the installation with a woman who owns a frame shop and it's going to be called, it's all in how you frame it.
(10:33):
That's cute.
(10:35):
It's amazing. So in 90 days she's been stuck for two years. So I wouldn't say you're my target client, how about that? But I help a lot of different women and I think I have a passion in my heart to see women be happy and be independent and feel empowered and live out their purpose. And if you haven't lived it out yet or if you've lived out all of your purposes and you're looking for your next one, I think that's where a coach can really come in and help you explore what that could be.
(11:11):
I like that. So what do you think your purpose is?
(11:17):
Oh my gosh, I have so many. I'm a multipurposed passionate entrepreneur for sure. One of my purposes is definitely to see more women in the boardroom. I think it is a huge loss to leadership that there aren't more women at the table making the big decisions. I want to see more women make more money so that we can have more power around what we want to buy, what kind of government we want, how we influence the bottom line. Think that's why more and more women are becoming entrepreneurs because you get to a point in corporate where this is as high as you're going to go in this company at least, and I've seen a lot of women leave because of that. So I would say my purpose is how can I uplift and empower as many women as I possibly can so they can go on to make a ripple effect in their community?
(12:22):
That's a very big want to be able to do that. But the thing is, and the key to it is for you to help them make their own ripple, make their ripple effect to pay that forward, to keep going. And you help so many, they've learned to help so many, and I don't know, I think women have been on this almost like a simmer with all of this coaching and entrepreneurship and the businesses. I mean, it's the fastest growing sector is women in business having their own businesses. So to see all of that finally start to come together and make sense because it takes a long time. I mean, think about when the internet first started and how if you had a webpage, it was just anything you could slap up there because nobody knew how to do anything. Yet
(13:30):
We were yahooing aging us. Now Sally,
(13:36):
Well think about how much change the internet went through and how it's changed our lives in everything we do day to day. We didn't even have phones that we could rely on back then for getting us around location wise. G p s, just to
(13:55):
Think about, I have a Tom Tom in my car and I was one of the ritzy girls
(14:01):
I finally threw. I had bought a Tom Tom in Europe and used it in Europe, and then I kept it for a while, but then it was just so out of date very quickly within a couple of years that it didn't even make sense for me to keep it anymore.
(14:17):
Yeah, I remember printing out MapQuest. I would go do workshops and I'd be like, oh my God, the road's closed. What am I going to do now? There's no rerouting. Oh yeah, that was back in the stamping up days,
(14:34):
But just relating that back to how women are in this movement in a way. And I don't know where that's going to go. There's a whole other level of business and commerce and so on going forward that we don't even know about. We have no idea of all these seeds that have been planted and where they're going to be in just a few years
(15:02):
Right now. Yeah, you're right. And I love that because there's always kind of been this, well, I'm from the south, as you know, I'm from Memphis, just up the road, a piece from you. There's always been a good old boys club. There's always been a network for the good old boys. If I don't know somebody, I can hook you up with somebody who knows somebody and we'll get that belt back on that scag and we'll get you back to mowing your yard, don't you? I mean there's always been that since I can remember. But there isn't something like that for women. And I think that is one of the key elements that we're missing is how do we help each other get better jobs? How do we help teach the leadership skills that they didn't teach us in university? And those are the kind of things that I really love doing now.
(15:58):
I help pretty much senior leaders go from good to great, but in the future I would love to have a leadership program for younger women who are just getting started and they don't exactly know how to navigate an organization. They don't know how to connect with their boss or even their peers much less up the ladder. If here's the pitfall with that. If you're great with your boss, she loves the work you do, you can do no wrong and then she leaves and you don't know any of her peers and you're not networked across the organization, the liability on you is huge because there may be a new person who comes in who doesn't like your style and you don't have anywhere to go, you're stuck. Those kinds of leadership, relationship, building, communications, those are the kinds of things that I love because I want more women to help each other out. That's the kind of environment that I really thrive in. And I believe in that
(17:16):
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(17:47):
And the other thing is on the communication. It's changed so much since we started working and now it's okay to be a kinder, gentler, more vulnerable boss. And I think so many women don't take advantage of that, and that's how we naturally are. So it is a big movement. I totally agree. And I'm here for it.
(18:19):
Amazing. What have you got going on right now?
(18:24):
Oh my gosh, so much. So I'm traveling all the time. I just had lunch with some friends downtown Chicago, sitting outside. It's a beautiful day here. I just got an invitation to the Chicago Executive Club, so I'm excited about that. My husband and I both, he runs Wendy City Coaching, so he does more on the men's corporate side. And then we're both mentors of the Chicago Innovation Society. So I have a wonderful mentee who is in the process of patenting a squeezable reusable tube, like think of applesauce so you can put anything you want in it and then pack it up and then when you get home, rinse it out. And so she's manufacturing that. My other mentee is an all female tequila company, so she makes tequila and everybody who works for her, including the women in Mexico, all women love that. Even the bottle is shaped thinner in the middle so you can hold onto it better. I love so thoughtful Mara, and I've got several clients that are, well, I have two artists and then a couple of CEOs, a couple of senior leaders, which I love. I love coaching. That's super fun.
(20:05):
Well, what made you decide to take the leap and go full time?
(20:10):
I just thought the time was right. I've been in corporate a long time, so I worked for cereal, then soda, then gum, then candy, and I loved it. And it was great at the time, but the landscape has changed. There's this revolving door of CMOs cgo, and every time a new one comes in, they want to change the whole landscape, which means you never get anything really going. And over time, I want to be part of something. I want to see it land and have a legacy. And when you don't see that year after year after year, I just came to the realization I'm going to have to create my own. So now's the time. And also, I've been studying for this for a long time and I've been doing it part-time since 2017. Yeah, it was time to go full-time for sure. And I love it. I mean, it does not feel like work to me, although I am getting my DISC certification this month. Some work.
(21:26):
Is it?
(21:27):
Yes. I mean, you love it. Talking about what are the algorithms behind the personality and how do we get this score for you? And if you don't understand it, let me break down the map. You'd be so great at that. That is not my favorite part of it. My favorite part of it is, oh, you're direct and you don't like projects after you've launched them. So then you need to see who's going to be steady Eddie working on the projects in the background after you launch them, let me help you build a team. That's the part I like, like the connection piece
(22:05):
And finding that point that they might be missing.
(22:09):
And then saying in a kind, gentle way, it doesn't mean you lack this and you need to figure out a way around it. It means you need to hire somebody to help you with this. Stay in your zone of genius.
(22:24):
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(22:51):
So have you got anything coming up that you want to talk about or anything that you have going usually, how can people get in touch with you? What have you got?
(23:04):
Oh, I love that. That's a great question. Yeah, I'm going to do a workshop in the fall to just kind of get your sense of self back, so falling in love with yourself again. And that'll be a workshop probably in early September. I'm working on it now, and you can get details at my website, the woman's coach.com.
(23:31):
Okay, cool. Yeah. And then anything else that you might have coming up, because people listen to these episodes forever. They don't go anywhere.
(23:43):
Cool. Yeah, I mean, I always have things going on on my website. I sometimes post things on Instagram and Facebook. I should get better at LinkedIn. I'm working on that. I will tell you another thing that I've been having fun with is using AI and the socials. I've been using this new program called Flick out of the uk, and I just talked to the product developer yesterday for about an hour and gave him some feedback on the ux. I was doing a lot of MarTech before I left my nine to five. And so I'm very passionate about ui, ux, and he was just lovely at taking out, I had lots of a p I suggestions, maybe try this and maybe try this and integrate these. And it's like, yeah, I love that. But they're using their own proprietary data, lake plus Chat, G P T and Chat and four. But what they have come up with is this very nicely designed way of putting in your topic, having AI help you start a post, finding the relevant hashtags, putting it into a workspace, and you put your own pictures in or you can use Canva or some other program. And then you schedule it and it tells you based on the algorithm, what's the best time of day for your clients to see your content, and then you put it in that slot and you could do it for the whole month.
(25:22):
Cool. There's so many things that a lot of different programs have implemented with ai, with artificial intelligence. Go into chat GPTs or chat open ai.com sometime and just type in, write an engaging social media post about this, and then lay in the contents of a blog post and you'd be amazed what you get back. And it gives you the hashtags and the emojis and everything throughout
(25:59):
Using this blog. I'm typing this.
(26:02):
Yeah, write an engaging social media post about this article or this blog or whatever, and then you just paste in the words from the blog.
(26:12):
I love that, Sally, I knew you would know something good.
(26:16):
I've done it a few times in a hurry.
(26:20):
Yeah, in a hurry, I like it. But if it's stuff that I've already written, so I've already preloaded my website into chat. So it speaks from my tone of voice. And I just had a friend of mine use the AI video and I reposted it on LinkedIn. It's shocking at how you can't really, I mean, I can tell because she's not swear. There's not a lot of colorful language or energy. She's a very energetic speaker, but if you didn't know her, you wouldn't know it's not a person.
(26:57):
Wow. So the video AI from her head talking or whatever. Yeah, that's kind of creepy. I've seen that.
(27:04):
Yeah, it was really freaky. A friend of mine is a trader in Bitcoin, and he told me a year ago, he goes, they're going to have chat G P T, coaches, coaches. I'm like, oh, tell me more about that. And he is like, yeah, you're going to be able to choose your avatar. You'll be able to choose what kind of language you want to speak, and then you just start asking it questions and it will verbally coach you. So when you talk about planting seeds, right, how is that going to change the coaching landscape?
(27:51):
I've seen this already though. A couple of years ago I signed up for a special Zoom thing through working live, working live. And I think it's working live Us. I'm not a hundred percent sure, but basically every time I would have a Zoom meeting with several people in it, they would send me an email afterwards that would break down every single person's personality, their needs, how you needed to follow up all of that based on the Zoom call.
(28:28):
So let me ask you this about Zoom. Did you see their updated policy this week?
(28:32):
Uhuh?
(28:35):
Okay, let me backtrack. I love Miley Cyrus, and she was in Black Mirror on Netflix, which is a show I love. The new Netflix series of Black Mirror has a eerily similar TV show that's based on all of your Zoom calls, and it creates a TV show and it puts it on. This is Black Mirror, so this is fake, and it puts it on a Netflix kind of a streaming platform. It uses all the same names, but it uses actors, but it's really acting out your life.
(29:15):
Oh, that's creepy.
(29:16):
And then what happens is people at work see this and this woman gets fired, she loses her marriage. I mean, it just spirals into it destroys her life. And then she tries to figure out, well wait a minute, how is this happening? How are you spying on me? And it turns out within the Netflix updated terms and conditions, it says, anything you say we can use as content, which is basically what Zoom just came out with this week. Anything that is recorded, anything that you use Zoom for is our property in perpetuity to do with whatever we should decide we want to do with.
(30:07):
That's kind of scary.
(30:09):
Yeah.
(30:12):
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(30:39):
So a friend of mine last month, she has a mastermind call every month. She switched to a new service called Butter, and she said, I'm not using Zoom anymore. They've got some changes coming up that I don't like. Yeah,
(30:55):
Just
(30:55):
A little beware.
(30:57):
Okay, good to know.
(30:59):
You can Google the new terms of Zoom. It's kind of all over,
(31:04):
See if it's there. It's not. Great. Was there anything else that you'd like to share with the audience before we go?
(31:12):
I would like to say if you're stuck and you don't exactly know how to move forward, get a coach, get a coach to just help you get unstuck. The world needs your genius. Whatever it is you're trying to do, whether it's your corporate job, start your own business, go all in and get a coach. That would be my best advice. And one last thing I'd like to say. The difference between, and I get this question all the time, what's the difference between a coach and a therapist? And you can't see me, but a coach can help you from your present day, from where you are right now into your future self. A therapist helps you from your present day all the way back to your childhood. A coach does not go back to your past and say, well, you've started five businesses and none of 'em worked.
(32:08):
No. A coach says, we start from today and we move you forward. Now if I start to get into a conversation with a client and she just keeps getting stuck, keeps getting stuck, I'm going to say, I'm going to recommend you work with a therapist and work on some of that past trauma and you can still work with me at the same time. Or if you want to take a break, go work on the trauma and then come back, then I'm going to recommend that I don't work with people who need that kind of expertise. I leave that too.
(32:39):
You can't progress them as far as, and you know, can progress them so much further. And so it does a disservice to them if you continue.
(32:49):
Yep, a hundred percent. So that's what I would say about coaching. I'm a big believer in how it helps and I have a lot of stories where my own coach has helped me catapult over hurdles that I thought I never could. So I would just encourage everyone to get their own coach.
(33:06):
Awesome. Well, I love it and I love the fact that you've gone full-time into this now and I get to see you more I'm sure at different events because we'll start going to those again. Alright, so thank you everybody for listening today on Shout Your Cause and get in touch with Marilyn if you need a nudge in the right direction.
(33:26):
Thanks Sally.
(33:29):
Thank you for listening today. My name is Sally Hendrick. Be sure to visit our website for show notes and more information on how you can inspire others. If you would like to contribute content to our magazine, please apply on our website at shoutyourcause.com.
